


Like real people do

by porgdameron



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 05:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9164002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porgdameron/pseuds/porgdameron
Summary: Some people survived. Others didn't. But Cassian and Bodhi had not lost each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So...what is the shipname for those two idiots? I've been using Pilot Squared, haha.  
> The title is the name of a song by Hozier.

Those were their final moments - at least that was what they thought. They hugged each other, one last moment of intimacy before the inevitable moment of death.  
Except death didn't come.  
They were saved. Even more people were hugging. Others were comforted, because not everyone could be saved. They had lost friends, partners. Lovers.  
But Cassian and Bodhi had not lost each other. They were still alive, safe, far away from the Empire. They were badly injured and spent a lot of time recovering, but a few weeks after their mission nearly ended in a tragedy, they were okay again. As okay as someone who nearly died can be.  
They needed to talk about the horrors they saw, their friends dying, the knowledge that death was coming for them. But they couldn't. They shared a bed - "Because there was only one free room left", they told others if they asked, even though everybody knew it was a lie - and the nightmares. They didn't like to admit it, but they could only fall asleep after a nightmare when they were holding each other close. It was a normal thing for friends to do, right?  
Bodhi knew, deep down, that he felt more than just simple friendship when it came to Cassian. But he also knew that the handsome pilot would never be interested in him - he had seen the way he had looked at Jyn. A man who looked at a woman like that would never be interested in another man, he thought.  
In his nightmares, he lost Cassian.  
Cassian thought that Bodhi had a wife at home, wherever that was, perhaps, that he would never be interested in a rebel like him. Which man would be interested in him, of all people? This thinking led him to believe that maybe he could find a woman he would be happy with, maybe everything would be all right in the end, maybe he would get children and be a valuable member of the rebellion. Because a society needed children to continue to exist and he would never be helpful if he didn't get any.  
In his nightmares, he lost Bodhi.  
The nights were the worst - in their sleep they couldn't escape the memories, the thoughts, the fears. They were vulnerable and the nightmares proofed it.  
"You really miss her, right?" Bodhi asked one day, after summoning up all his courage.  
"I... of course I do. She was my friend," the other pilot answered after a short pause, not looking at Bodhi.  
He stared at him. His work for the Empire had taught him one thing: don't get attached. Your friends will die, you will mourn, you won't accomplish work like you used to. You will get punished. Bodhi realized that he might have gotten attached to someone. To Cassian.  
"... You don't miss her?" Cassian suddenly looked at him, shocked.  
"I-I didn't mean it like that! I thought...maybe...you...you missed her more than... j-just a friend..."  
Both pilots blushed.  
"I don't. I miss her as a friend."  
"Okay," Bodhi whispered, unsure about what to do next.  
"Did you... ever lose someone who was really important to you? Like... a.... wife...?" Cassian asked after another pause.  
"Oh. No. No, I didn't... I... never got close to someone like that..." There was another part to this sentence, but Bodhi didn't say it. He couldn't say it.  
"Well... I... I have to go now. See you later," Cassian said, ending the awkward moment.  
"Bye..."  
He had been so close to saying it, but he hadn't done it. But this conversation had taught him that Bodhi was not taken, that he might have a chance. A chance of being happy. Maybe life wasn't that bad, after all.  
When Cassian got back into their room, Bodhi was already asleep. He looked at the sleeping pilot for a moment, admiring him for still looking beautiful when he was exhausted. When he finally went to bed, Cassian hugged the other man, like he always did. But this time, he did something else, too.  
"I love you," he whispered, to feel the relief of finally having said it without Bodhi actually hearing it.  
He didn't know that Bodhi was actually awake. Awake and happy. Awake and happy and not knowing what to do next. But as soon as he decided to tell Cassian what he wanted to tell him earlier that day, Bodhi heard deep breathing, indicating that the other pilot was asleep. He tried to tell himself that it was alright, that he would tell Cassian in the morning. He knew he wouldn't do it.  
Morning arrived sooner than he liked it to.  
"Uhm... about what you said... last night... I..." Bodhi began, scared.  
Cassian turned red very quickly. He had thought that it had been a dream, just a dream, that he hadn't actually said it. Apparently, that wasn't the truth.  
"I love you, too."  
Cassian had been prepared for the worst. He had been convinced that Bodhi was not interested in him.  
"It's okay... wait... w-what?!"  
He couldn't hide the fact that he was shocked, even though he was extremely happy.  
"What? Did I say something wrong, oh god I said something wrong, I'm so sorry I'm truly sorry I'll-"  
Cassian figured that there was only one way of making Bodhi shut up.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I just had a lot of Sherlock feels so logically I wrote a Star Wars fic.


End file.
